I Feel Old

This is aptly titled, as it is something I say at conventions at least once a day anymore. I know many people who have also said or felt this when they go to cons as of late. Part of it attributes to what I call “burn out”.

After so many years, you reach a point where you wonder why you attend conventions anymore. For me, I have lost a lot of faith in the fandom. I get irritated by the meme yells, the lack of hygiene which thusly causes a funk to permeate the air, and I can’t seem to find an anime that has that great story to grab me in. Part of it is, yes, I’m an older fan. I’m a Sailor Moon fan that watched it every morning before school. Naruto, while the series may be for you, just gets boring to me. I miss the days of watching Birdy the Mighty and Project A-ko, but if I mention this around the younger crowd, they usually stare at me like a deer caught in the headlights.

It’s not what you think, though. Those of us who have felt this way need to understand that whether we want to admit it or not, we were similar to the younger generation. They will mature as we did, some will become jaded as some of us have. Some will be sitting there in the future experiencing the same thing we are going through now. However, they’d better not stay in the stinky ranks, because that I won’t tolerate.

Conventions are still fun for the people. I love going to see old friends and to make new ones. I love seeing what people come up with for their costumes, and if I actually have the guts to start doing panels again, I love to hear about said costumes. I love to share ideas and opinions back and forth with cosplayers, as no matter how long you’ve been in this hobby, you can still learn. I still love to hang out in group costumes and take awesome photos to show off that “Yeah, I made that crazy costume!”

Anymore, though, I’m also getting burnt out on making costumes. I love wearing them, but it’s like I need my own sweatshop and sugar daddy to fund the craziness. As I continue to learn and create, it continues to frustrate me and eat at my wallet. Part of this is learning budgeting and knowing that being part of mailing lists for stores aren’t necessarily a bad thing.

No matter how tired I get of hearing those silly memes or dealing with the odor, I still have fun. I may sit there and get irritable, but then my friends always remind me why I’m there. I am reminded that sometimes the creation of a costume can be a pain, but the joy of wearing it and “showing it off” pays for it. Cosplay and attending cons are about meeting people, making friends, and having fun being a dork. Until I can mark all three of those off my list as something I don’t want to do anymore, my “burn out” will return to the “backburner”.

About Yunie

I am a cosplayer, a nerd, a geek. I am whatever you call me. However, I have a brain and tend to use it.
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8 Responses to I Feel Old

  1. Lilacwire says:

    It’s this same feeling that has had me changing my cosplay intent the last few years – moving away from anime/game-oriented sources to recreating tv/comics/etc costumes. It’s really helped me feel like my costuming has grown, rather than sitting staunchly inside one genre.

    Plus, I admit that I enjoy older cons more too. Starfest & Dragon*Con have become the ones I really anticipate.

    • Yunie says:

      I’m slowly moving into more detailed costumes and focusing on one or two big ones a year. I have so many TV/movie costumes I need to finish up, and a ton of cray detail-oriented ones in the future to focus on.

      I’m really leaning towards finally going to Dragon*Con the more I hear people talking about.

  2. Michi says:

    I know what you mean. I’m not as old as some of the cosplayers out there, but I’ve been doing this for ten years. I’ve watched the community go to what it was, what I fell in love, to what it is now. I still have fun, but most of the time at the small conventions, I sit in the bar with my friends and terrify the kiddies by letting them see their favorite character down a shot or two.

    I haven’t quite reached the burnout myself, but I think I might be feeling it after Sakura-Con this year.

    • Yunie says:

      Burnout hits everyone, whether some admit to it or not, so don’t be surprised if it does. XD I admit, small cons anymore are for my artist alley table, drinking, and just hanging out with any friends at the con itself. Big cons are for my inner attention ho to be free, lol!

  3. Maridah says:

    ❤ Thanks for posting this. It hits a lot of true marks. I think it really helps that some of us are on the same wavelength and understand the struggle to not burn out.
    I want that enthusiasm of years past back! That's the real trick…

    • Yunie says:

      Yeah, I’m having an interesting time getting the enthusiasm, but getting myself to do some of my dream costumes has definitely been helping. 😀

  4. Partially the reason why I’m not around anymore. You look around, and you put everything your seeing, feeling, thinking and experiencing into perspective…it makes you stop and ask yourself, “what the hell am I doing here?” I think for me it came down to tolerance and self-respect. I have to say, all of this that you’re doing has brought back a lot of memories. It might be nice to return one day.

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